WOTF #7 Voting

Which do you prefer?

  • Freak

    Votes: 2 28.6%
  • Loving Couple

    Votes: 2 28.6%
  • Dear Mother

    Votes: 3 42.9%

  • Total voters
    7
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Shadowolf

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#2
Loving Couple

The morning birds gentle voices started to echo in the quiet country side, reminding us just how early it was. "I...I'm just scared Mark." I squeezed his hand tighter than I ever have before, I truly thought I heard a cracking sound as I squeezed harder and harder. It's not the type of thing you are prepared for in school, or from watching your typical tv programing. I leaned my head against Mark's shoulder, resting it as I continued to nervously squeeze his hand. "You know they'll be fine with it. Maybe a little scared or surprised at first, but just like my parents when I first brought another boy over, they'll be fine with it...eventually..." I knew he was right. My parents had always loved me, after all, they kind of had to love their only child. That's what made me most nervous about telling them I was gay. Would they be okay? Would they be okay that they would never have a blood related grandchild, or that the family name may not continue after this generation?

All these thoughts shot through my head at once as my hand hovered infront of the handle of the car door. Slowly, Mark's, rather rough, hand slid under my chin and raised my eyes to his. He knew how nervous I was. How scared I was to tell my parents that the son, their only child that was raised with loving care and tenderness, had fallen in love with the sweetest boy that lived on this planet. Somehow, looking into his eyes made it all go away. As his gentle, caring brown eyes seemed to drain away my fears and sadness, he brought his lips closer to mine. I felt his breath against my own lips as his other hand gently brushed over my ear. He let out a soft whisper before licking his lips, softening their usual roughness, and planting a tender kiss on mine. He tried to pull away, but I brought him back for one more before laying my forhead against his chest. "Just...let me lay here for a bit longer." Nothing could be wrong as his arms wrapped around me, cradling me in silence as my mind wandered to happier times.

The day we had met had been one of the most confusing of my life. I had never thought of another boy like that before, but seeing him, sitting in a tree top, his skin glistening as the morning sun hit him perfectly. The short brown hair a tossed around mess after spending so much time working in the fields, his dirt streaked hands creating mud on his forhead as they ran through the mess again and again. Then he turned to me and I was able to see, for the first time, those amazingly soulful eyes. Never before had I seen a guy with eyes as gentle and caring as his. I stood in stunned silence, my glasses slipping down to the tip of my nose before I hurriedly turned to walk away before his voice seemingly floated on the wind down to me. The first word he said to me giving me the second most confusing time in my life. "Cute.". That single, one word greeting confused me more than my feelings from seeing him.

At first I thought, like a lot of people. that he assumed I was a girl from a distance. While i don't like that, it happened a lot. My long black hair and slender frame made me look more like a tomboy than a real boy. Even after they find out I'm a guy, many of them comment on how my eyes are too pretty to belong to a boy. "Don't see a lot of cute boys around. What's your name?" I was obviously a bit freaked out by all of this. I tried to slip away, but he saved everything with his quick apology. He's very good with those. We talked for hours after that, it didn't take long for him to tell me about his sexual orientation. He was more comfortable with it than most are at 18. It took me longer to warm up to the idea of dating him than most people in his position would stand for. Every week after the first 6 months we had been friends, he confessed his love to me. I would tell him I wasn't sure, and that would be it on the subject until next week. Maybe I thought it was cute, or maybe I was already in love by then, but it only took him 8 confessions to make it work. Ever since then, I was reminded everyday that I was with the sweetest boy ever.

With a gentle kiss on the top of my head, I was reminded where I was. Looking up slowly, his smiling face welcoming me back to the present. "Remember, I love you. No matter what may happen with anyone else, I will always be here to love you." I leaned up and gave him a little kiss on the chin. "I know Mark...I know." With a deep breath I pulled the handle to the car and slowly took my first step outside. Things would certainly change, but I knew that Mark and I would always be in love. Forever.
 

Shadowolf

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#3
Dear Mother,


I’m sorry for the horrible sight you just encountered and the blood on this letter. I can imagine that it might haunt your mind for the rest of your life. See it as a revenge for all those years we spend together. Years that we can actually recall in just a few words, right? When I’d actually see you, then the only thing you’d say to me is: “Just get rid of whatever prevents you from achieving your goal and you’ll grow up to be happy.” You’ve been a terrible mother, but you were right about that. I’ll explain to you why.

“Hey, I heard Lillian and Matt finally got together!”

That one sentence of a classmate meant the end for me. We were always together. Matt was my best friend and Lillian, well, Lillian’s mom and you were best friends, so what can I say about that. Whenever you had to work I got dumped at her place. We quickly grew up to be friends, you were quite happy with that even though you wanted more out of our relationship.

Matt and Lillian both had these very dark brown eyes that seemed to shine in the dark. It wasn’t that weird that people always matched up Lillian and Matt, they looked really great together, but I always felt a sting of jealousy whenever I heard people say that they should be a couple. You always liked to stir up that fire of envy in me, didn’t you? Too bad you never understood the real reason of my jealousy, you might have ended up being the support I really needed. No, that’s a silly idea, what am I writing? You could barely lay your eyes upon me without throwing up, without knowing the real reason. I can’t even imagine what you’d have done to me if you did know. Maybe the blood you can see in my room would also have been on your hands then? We’ll never know.

Never hit the messenger, right? Classic. It was the first mistake I made, besides of course trusting you. My classmate couldn’t know any better, but I beat him to pulp nonetheless for giving me the bad news of Lillian and Matt being an item. Just to get that happy grin of his face, I rebuilt his face with my fists. Something you would approve of, right?

I’d always been a great actor and nobody knew the truth about me. Nobody even knew the real me. No, mom, not even you knew me though that can’t be much of a surprise anymore now, can it? As you can feel my blood ruining your pretty shoes as you read this.

Blind creatures we humans can be. We only see what we want to see. So, what others saw in me was this innocent, obedient and kind child. Hitting someone really didn’t fit that picture. I left the whole class in shock as I ran out of the classroom.

Outside, I saw them. I sneaked up to them, quietly, like a lioness would sneak up to her prey, just to get a better view of what they we’re doing. That was the second mistake I made. I shouldn’t have done that, I knew what I’d end up seeing anyway and I surely knew I wouldn’t like the sight.

I’m not sure how I felt as I watched; how the lips I wanted to kiss so badly were kissed by someone else, how I was invisible to the dark brown shimmering eyes that now stared at someone else, how those hands I wanted to hold were touching the skin of someone else, and most of all, how that someone else, that lucky person, was no one less than my friend.

I got the urges to puke, to scream, to cry, to run, but all I could do was standing there and feeling my jealousy burn my soul. With every new heartbeat my body ached a bit more until finally… I heard the one I loved say: “I love you” to someone else.

I stood on that very same spot I spied on my friends when the principal found me. She had already called you about the incident of me hitting my classmate. You were sitting in a chair in her office, looking at me with the hate in your eyes that always fired in your eyes whenever I reminded you of dad. When you heard about what happened with Lillian and Matt, your eyes became calm and even started to shine again. However, as you walked out of the door you whispered to me: “Wrong person to beat to pulp. He’s not the guy standing in your way, is he? We should do something about that Matt. How dare he lay his hands on my friend’s daughter.” I started crying, your word choice was wrong. I indeed never wanted him to lay his hands on Lillian, but the fact that he did, made me feel so desperate and hopelessly useless.

I couldn’t tell you. Even now I’m having problems writing it down. You see, mother, I’m ashamed of it myself. I’m not right, I really am a failure. Another thing you were right about, huh?

Crying was something you did not want to see a anyone doing, surely not if it was without reason and if it was me. You beat me to pulp that night, remember? You stopped when you noticed I was bleeding and then you hugged me like a little baby. You promised me you’d help me take out Matt, you promised me to help me win over Lillian’s heart. You really thought I’d be happy to hear that. Little did you know.

Vacation finally started and you made Matt stay over at our house. I think I can describe those days as the best days of my life, honestly. You were there, he was there and Lillian was nowhere to be found. Matt kindly never mentioned Lillian and his relationship with her. It was just me and him and if I forget about the nights in which you gave me hints and tips as in how to get rid of Matt, I can actually say that they we’re the best days of my life. Just my best friend around me and a mother that seemed to care about me.

Of course there was an end to it, you had gotten inpatient and you brought over Lillian too, you really thought that bringing her here would make me feel more pressure, more need to quickly get rid of Lillian. You were once again right, it really did put me under pressure, because as kind as Matt is, he really did love Lillian and Lillian really did love him. It was a perfect love if only I wasn’t there.

It was that thought that kept spinning around in my head, if only I wasn’t here. You know, mother, the whole problem of your plan of getting rid of my rival had one big problem. Even if my rival was gone, nature would still be against me, you see?

I love Matt. Even at this moment that I’m writing this my heart is not beating to finish this letter to you but to see him one last time. I think he knew it, but he never mentioned it. He never rejected me, but also never accepted me. It might have been weird but I feel like I even love him more for that very reason.

I think if I had told you this all honestly from the start to you, mother. You’d have disowned me. I know how you always went on about how filthy people like me were and how people should kill people like me off. Yeah, you can feel at ease about that, at least you won’t have to dirty your hands killing me now.

Anyway, I have to hurry up because I’m starting to get really dizzy and sleepy, I think that might be because of the lack of blood in my body? I only cut one of my wrists, but it’s still going faster than I expected.

Back to what I was telling you, that one night you prepared the perfect kill for me, a little bit of poison in the form of too much nutmeg in dinner and some great drug in it to finish it, was the night I decided to not go through with it. I thought about killing Matt and about killing Lillian, but both felt wrong. They we’re both my friends. Besides that, killing off Lillian or Matt wouldn’t change any feelings. So I’ll tell you why your plan went wrong, I simply changed bottles. And I threw away the plate of food with too much nutmeg and replaced it with non-poisoned food.

Mom, I know I’ve been going on about how much I hate you ,but for real, I only hate myself. You tried your best in your own weird and illegal way. You never wanted to get me, but you still took care of me in the best way you could. I love you for that mom… I really do.

I don’t want to be a bother to anyone any longer, I don’t want to feel unloved by the people I love.

If anyone had to go to make this place a better place, it had to be me.


With love, pain and blood sipping out of me,
Your son,
Stan.
 

Shadowolf

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#4
Freak

She watched him as he ambled about in the park. He faced away from her, waving his arms playfully.

"Oh my god. What's wrong with him?"
"What happened to him?"
"Stay away from him, dear. Don't go near him!"

She heard the other mothers speak. Voices of shock, overlayed with disgust. The visual spectacle was even more pronounced: a mom looked away, her face scrunched up. Another desperately tried to cover the eyes of her little girl. They both cast vicious looks at her son, and although he seemed not to notice, she felt the eyes vicariously piercing her very soul.

One of the mothers turned to look at her, eyes full of repulsion. She quickly turned away as the mother muttered something under her breath. Looking at the street behind her, she bit her lip in anger mixed with sadness.

Soon she heard footsteps on grass approaching her, and a small hand grabbed hers.

"Mommy, mommy!" he called out.

She turned back to look at him.

"Mommy! It's so fun!"

She could barely see his mouth moving behind his large disfigured nose. One of his eyes bulged out, staring at her unblinkingly.

"Come and play with me too, mommy!" The abomination spoke again.

"No, it's okay," she replied sadly.

He stared at her, his disfigured face full of concern.

"What's wrong, mommy?" He asked.

In the distance, the mothers were staring at the pair in disdain. Why couldn't they understand - understand that even abominations have a heart, that even abominations can love, that even abominations deserved to be loved?

"Nothing's wrong, dear," she replied, a single tear trickling down her cheek.

Her son's eyes widened in horror at her display of emotion. He grabbed her jacket.

"Why are you crying, mommy? Is it because no one loves you?"

Looking at him, she felt her vision blur with tears.

"I'll still love you, mommy! I love you!"

Biting her lip, she nodded.

"But mommy, do you love me?"

Here he was. Her son. A disfigured abomination. Her heart told her to love, yet her mind screamed at her to reject this freak. She was troubled. Sad. Despairing. Yet she knew it best not to leave a child hanging. The doubts still lingered in her mind, by-products of countless sleepless nights of self-reflection. Self-reflection of how this came to be and how she should react to it. She knew that, sooner or later, she would be confronted with this question, and now was the moment. Did she hate her son for his disability, or could she love him for who he was?

"Dear, I..." she began, tears in her eyes. A roar echoed throughout the park as a truck drove by, but through the cacophony she was able to relay her answer. Her son stood there, staring at her in wonder, reacting in wonder.
 
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#6
Goodness, proofread your entries before you submit them, folks! I spotted errors in grammar and punctuation here and there, though thankfully it wasn't as bad as the last time.

Entry #1
Pretty sappy, cliched and perhaps boring, were it not for the nature of the love. Despite the cliche-ness, the story was executed well, although I must admit that it wasn't as interesting to read as the other two.

Oh and the first sentence was pretty jarring in how grammatically weird and incorrect it was.

Entry #2
Yandere much? Lol.
It wasn't bad, but I felt that the writer detracted from the theme quite a bit. I didn't feel the the theme of love coming out as strongly, probably due to how most of the time the fictional narrator is just using rhetorics and mocking his mum.

(grammar mistakes include "beat him to pulp")

Entry #3
This one had great potential, but I felt it wasn't developed to it's fullest. Not enough emphasis was placed on the fact that the mother had to love her son through his disability. Still, the whole disability thing was a good twist. You get points for not having any (noticeable) mistakes as well.


All in all, my vote goes to Entry #1. It was a solid job, and although I'm not into gay love, it was still a rather intriguing concept.

[MENTION=79]Shadowolf[/MENTION]
Never use the poll system for WOTF voting again. You get too many unknown votes and too few people actually giving a reason for their vote. Not to mention, entrants could abuse the system by getting their friends to make accounts and vote, since there's no need to provide a reason for voting.
 

HappyNisa

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#7
Hmm well my vote is for Freak, kinda had me going most.

What might happen after what happened in entry number 1 is either parents don't accept or they do, not much variation there. I like originality and this felt a bit cliche ^^" Well done on the writing though.. and unlike Hadriel I don't see the incorrectness of the first sentence... but that's probably just me and not Hadriel >.>" Oh but I have to say I'm amazed how you could write so much describing such a short moment. ^^
Entry number two, well the person dies and the mother might feel bad or not. Besides, it tells the not so happy part of love, depressing >.>"
Entry number three, despite the fact that I doubt a child would ask: but mommy do you love me? after he says I love you to his mom. Maybe a kid would ask that if the mother keeps on going how everyone should love him, but it seemed a bit weird that it went on there. But yeah as we dunno the answer of the mother xD it kept me hanging most. XD BEsides, I have a weak spot for little children D: They are the most vulnerable D:

So yup Entry number 3 has my vote ^^

And dear gawd, GrammarNazi Hadriel, I don't see mistakes in any of the entries... (I feel like a failure) >.>" so for normal non-grammarnazi's none of their mistakes are really bothersome.. well atleast for me.. but i might also be the odd one out?
Gah well with my Cambridge exam I did... score worst on the writing part... still more than sufficient, but also still the worst of all subjects XD so yeah dunno, it can also just be m failing to see grammar mistakes, but as I did score sufficient, I'd think that even with their mistakes their writings should still be sufficient, not?
 
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#8
and unlike Hadriel I don't see the incorrectness of the first sentence... but that's probably just me and not Hadriel
"The morning birds gentle voices started to echo in the quiet country side, reminding us just how early it was."

Firstly, it's " morning birds' gentle voices ".
Secondly, it's "countryside", not "country side".
Lastly, it's not "reminding us just how early it was". It's "reminding us of just how early it was.

There are quite a lot of tensing issues as well.
 

HappyNisa

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#9
Hmm well that birds' thing was the only thing I knew (but I got confused about it because my teachers aren't really sure when and how to place the 's I mean they would say to me that it is birds's and not birds') but didn't think it was that bad to write it without the ' .
Lol I didn't know about the countryside but lol now that you say it it does seem to make sense XD
the last point, it flows less easy with the of so it does sound right, but you're right D: reminding always goes with of >.>"

Gosh it's so weird how i can't see the mistakes on my own but that when you point them out they do make sense =.=" reminds me of the part of the Cambridge exam in which we had to fix mistakes in sentences >.>" when I saw them it was easy to fix it, but when I didn't... it wasnt at all >.>"

Oh and Hadriel all nice and true about the poll thingie,, but unlike siganture of the week thignie, people cant be bothered telling what they think about the stories here, WOTF is WAAAYYY less popular than SOTW so ofcourse we can try it out but I'm affraid that might scare away people even more if they have to explain what they like about the stories. And I can't imagine that people would really make more accounts, or make other people make an account just to win the WotF, that's really kind of desperate and what's the fun of winning when you cheated? It won't be proof that people really liked your writing, more that you outsmarted the rest and lied to yourself.
 
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#10
Oh and Hadriel all nice and true about the poll thingie,, but unlike siganture of the week thignie, people cant be bothered telling what they think about the stories here, WOTF is WAAAYYY less popular than SOTW so ofcourse we can try it out but I'm affraid that might scare away people even more if they have to explain what they like about the stories. And I can't imagine that people would really make more accounts, or make other people make an account just to win the WotF, that's really kind of desperate and what's the fun of winning when you cheated? It won't be proof that people really liked your writing, more that you outsmarted the rest and lied to yourself.
That's pretty idealist thinking, but the point is that this is real life. Sooner or later someone is going to abuse the anonymosity of the voters.
 

HappyNisa

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#11
Well then make it a poll in which you can see who voted for what? All new members might be reason for suspicion then? so that when that happens we an ask for reasons... besides hadriel... if I wanted to cheat, I can still cheat without a poll >.>" make a new account and just praise my own writing to the heavens and only point out the bad things of the other writings.... so either way, if people relaly want to cheat then they will.
 
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#12
Well then make it a poll in which you can see who voted for what? All new members might be reason for suspicion then? so that when that happens we an ask for reasons... besides hadriel... if I wanted to cheat, I can still cheat without a poll >.>" make a new account and just praise my own writing to the heavens and only point out the bad things of the other writings.... so either way, if people relaly want to cheat then they will.
It's a bit more obvious that way. And I'm not just talking about that. Some people give the stupidest of reasons to vote for a story. If we don't ask them for their reasons then we won't know if their decision was based on the quality of the entry or if they just like one certain aspect of it, and the writers won't have a chance to see what others think of their works as well.
 

HappyNisa

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#13
COmpletly true, but it won't be that hard to even be able to cheat while not having a poll. and like I said earlier I doubt if we'd get many votes than as people are by nature lazy >.>
ofcourse i completly agree with you that people really should state reasons as it willl help the writers to improve too, but yeah :/ I just don't wanna make the already not so popular voting process of the wotf even less appealing. Gawd *headdesk* why aren't there more people like you >.> though everyone one probably will get chewed out because of grammar use, but yeah that aside xD we would have more serious voters >.<"
 

Pimp

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#15
I went for loving couple. The other ones were good too but i liked it. The things i would have improved on is if your going to put in a back story put it in story earlier. Also i would have liked to see more length i felt it ended before it began.
 

Lovely.

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#16
Voted for Dear Mother~ Though all of them were nice, I liked the way this one was presented. Unlike the other 2, it was formatted into a letter~~
 

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#18
Ehm yeah... just wanna say... the WOTF8 will be up for voting soon, shouldn't this one be closed?
 
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