Okay little back story on this, I wrote this one day about 6 years ago, on a piece of paper, plain old notebook paper while watching my neighbors were playing outside, during the time I wrote it till now, I some how lost it, so what I got here is not the original poem. I guess its what I tried to remember about 2 years ago. I think I got it right from the original, I might of missed an line or added one but what can I say, my mind is shitty as heck. XD P.S. if this sounds like suicidal in anyway, um no I wasn't at that time, it just popped in my head and I had to write it down. look forward to more poems by me, its kinda random when they come out. anyway:The Lonely GirlWhy can't anyone careAs she cries and criesBut no one caresShe wonders why no one doesBut then she realizes She is but a lonely childCrying alone in the darkWhen will the light find her?No one knowsShe hopes her savior will show up soonBut if he doesn't appear soonshe will bleed to deathbecause of her attempts to havesome one to notice herShe cuts deep one more timeas she falls over her savior comes running He is almost in tears as he looks at herwith her scared wrists and asks himself "why didn't I see this before?"she opens her eyes long enough to look at him and say"thank you" as her eyes glazed over and she draws her last breathshe is dead. The boy gets up and carries the body away from thereto some place she can belong and actually smile once again.
The Lonely Girl
- Thread starter ~Kira-chan~
- Start date
It's nice. But I'd prefer you to put a little more thought in what you're writing down on the paper. While it's nice of course that stuff popped into your mind. But I don't like taking stuff like that into consideration, like, I should be more impressed when somebody says that? Sorry, but this >>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfrPm4dp5QQ&t=102 is stuff that impresses me cause it's freestyle. Poetry should be well thought out, ya know.Just needed to say that, it's really nice though. I can feel what you felt, maybe cause I know the feeling. I know it so well...