Ramblings of the Mad

#1
Exactly what it says. Up here will be posted various prose, poem, or whatever sort of thing I've been writing.



This... was a piece submitted for English creative writing coursework, based on our city or something. Enjoy...



The City at Night



As darkness washes over the city, everything stops. People, yelling at those in front of them stop. The vendors selling their tarnished wares stop. Even those who reside in the highest buildings, watching with an eagle eye, suddenly stop. Then, everything changes.



The nightwalkers begin to come out, those dregs of society, the people that the day is too ashamed to shine light on. The night, however, has no qualms, for it is within her hours that the darkest deeds of the day are done. All she asks is that you do not bother her brother, lest the balance is disturbed.



Out of the darkness come a million blazing fires, each burning brighter than the last. These shadow people revel in the darkness, but are afraid of it. They banish it to the far reaches of the city, to where the lost causes reside. These people, these denizens of the dark, are the true shadow walkers, committing acts of evil that remain unspoken, because during the night, secrets are never revealed.



Still, the night, though tinged with blood, retains a touch of innocence, love, hope, and everything in between. In their homes, lovers remind each other of their daily blessings. Out on the streets, men and women seek each other, lonely and in need of companionship. The moon sheds her glowing tears on them in their journeys, blessing them with the warmth of her rays.



However, the light seems cold, almost cruel in other areas of the city. Stalls have been set up, hawking bloody meat, cracked jewelry, shattered hopes and bitter dreams. If you dare approach them, be prepared for a tirade of words as they attempt to lure you in. Bargains get struck, deals get made, and nobody gives anyone else a second look out on the frigid streets.





Meanwhile, the people of the day shed their work clothes and begin to relax. Only at night can they be truly free; they let themselves party the night away. Night after night they release their wild sides, shedding their inhibitions and fears. Meeting new people, doing new things, changing who you are to the rest of the world.





Then the orphaned come out. They without a home, a family, or even a true name to call their own. They call out for an act of charity, or, when charity isn’t given, take it for themselves. The so-called enforcers of the law, instead of trying to take in the true law-breakers, instead go after the abandoned and the hopeless. Is it a matter of incompetence, corruption, or plain greed? Whatever it is, it resigns the unlucky to their fate, as they cry for justice when there is none, while the damned walk off as free men.



The night is an inky darkness that spreads around the city, tainting it, poisoning it, hurting it. Still, even as the darkness spreads, so does the beautiful light of the morning. As the sun rises the dark runs, afraid of being burnt, afraid of dying out. Still, the sun banishes it to the smallest spaces, while it spreads over the city, bringing with it a beautiful blossoming of happiness and hope.
 
#3
It's a very mature piece, IMO. Very, very nice use of sentence structure to emphasize certain characteristics (eg. the first paragraph and the repetition of "stops"). Excellent personification skills!



The whole story gives a sense of despair due to the night, but there is a touch of hope with the coming morning. I like it. It's beautiful.
 
#4
Thank you very much for the comments~



Anyways, another piece:



“In the beginning was chaos, wherein people fought over nothing.



Suddenly, the apocalypse foretold during the generations before fell upon humanity.



From the ashes of humanity’s ruins came those blessed with power, but cursed with a lack of emotion and love.



At first, both the Wholes and the Pieces lived in harmony, but soon the Pieces abused their power and attempted to harm the wholes.



Out of the darkness rose Xanatos the Just, who smote the Pieces mightily, but in his infinite kindness and wisdom he realized that Pieces only wanted to become Whole.



So, out of kindness, he devised the Dealing, in which those with power were identified and their powers kept under control, thus making them Whole.



And so it has continued to this very day.



- The Voices of the Whole, Ch 1:1, Xanatos the Just







Silently praying that I wouldn’t be found too powerful, I pushed the door to the examination room open. Inside were a cheerful, slightly pudgy man who looked to be in his mid-forties, the stereotypical jolly uncle package with tacky Hawaiian shirt included, and a rather sullen creature with muscles the size of basketballs. Turning to me, the pudgy man smiled. “Ah! You must be Ray, right? Come in, come in!”



Ushering me inside, the pudgy man gestured to an empty chair. “Come on and have a seat! My, but we’re excited to have you here, aren’t we Lawrence?” The sullen man nodded once in his direction, then returned to staring at his empty fists. “Oh goodness me, but I am a bit scatterbrained today? Where are my manners?!?! The name’s Julius, and my friend over there is Lawrence! He’s going to be the one giving you your exam!” Noticing the shocked expression on my face, Julius gave a big belly laugh and said, “Oh my, don’t worry about all the rumours you’ve heard: we’re not going to drug you or anything! We’re just going to test your strength, speed and agility, and then we might have to take a bit of blood, but it’ll only hurt a little bit, ho ho! Now, just face Lawrence, there you go…”



As soon as I faced Lawrence he gave me a wicked grin and whispered, “We’re gonna be arm wrestling, you and I, and I ain’t gonna be taking it easy on ya, little kid.” Gulping slightly with nerves, I turned to Julius. “U-Um… he’s not going to hurt me, is he?” Julius just grinned. “Don’t you worry about a thing Ray! If you feel that for any reason you can’t take it, just holler Uncle and we’ll stop the fight. Also, to give you a little guesstimate about how we classify, a two would last about a minute against Lawrence, while a four might last about four minutes. But just try and keep at it for as long as you can. Ready, and…. GO!



Immediately Lawrence put a tremendous amount of pressure on my arm, and god did it hurt. But I knew that Mama expected big things from me, so I persisted and tried to push back at him. Julius was shouting all sorts of encouragement at me, but it wasn’t even past two minutes yet and the pressure was on. It really didn’t help that Lawrence was looking at me with this damn smug look, as if he were saying, “Your mark ain’t a real mark: it was just a fluke. You’re nothing. NOTHING!” Mustering all my strength, I pushed my arm to the side and-



CRACK.



Within that room were three pairs of frightened eyes, staring at the mangled mess that had once been Lawrence’s arm. It was only after a few seconds that Julius looked up at me. “T-That’s not possible. You… you…. Julius is a King level…. It… It….” Suddenly, Lawrence spat in my face. “I know what you are, monster.” Julius turned to calm him. “Look, Lawrence, we must be civil, remember? Ray here is our gu-“ “No, he’s not! He’s not human! HE’S AN ACE!!! HE’S A BEAST!!!” Making excuses, I slowly backed out of the room while Lawrence was bellowing and Julius began to call for reinforcements. “I didn’t mean… I mean… I’ve never….” I bolted out the door.



And so I ran fast, faster than I ever had before, and in a way, it was exhilarating. There were soldiers behind me, walking, running, riding tanks, and they couldn’t catch me. Speeding in the way that I was, I just felt… powerful, I guess, because, at that time, I was probably one of the strongest, fastest people on the entire planet. But obviously, being an Ace of Clubs didn’t come with an intelligence bonus, because as soon as I turned my head to look back at all the slow people behind me I got caught in a net that had been spread in front of me. Yeah, real smart of me, I know.



As the soldiers closed in on me, I started to recall all the stories I’d heard about Pieces. It was said that if you were found to be Jack level or higher, they took you away for experimentation, did horrible things to you, made you, for lack of a better word, a robot. I recalled Lawrence, no expression, no care, just blank eyes until he began to fight. There was no way I was gonna end up a machine like that. I began to struggle against the net, and also managed to break through, but hundreds of soldiers were on me when…



Everything just became a blur. All I can recall is a red flash in front of me, taking down the soldiers, one, two, three. Every time they tried to get close to him, he’d always be a couple of seconds earlier, as if he knew where their punches, kicks and bullets would go. And then, suddenly, the battle was over, and he appeared in front of me, extending a friendly hand towards me. I looked up into his eyes, and saw… cloudy grey. My savior, the one who opened my eyes to the truth…. Couldn’t even see.
 

Crestham

~*†Tank†*~
#5
I liked the first story. It was dark. So dark. So dark, yet so hopeful.



As for the second story, I couldn't really understand the part about 'the one who opened my eyes to the truth'. Didn't he just defeat the hundreds of Soldiers?
 
#6
[quote name='Crestham']I liked the first story. It was dark. So dark. So dark, yet so hopeful.



As for the second story, I couldn't really understand the part about 'the one who opened my eyes to the truth'. Didn't he just defeat the hundreds of Soldiers?[/QUOTE]



Well, it's sort of like, the truth about the MC's world.



Like... his worldview was fragmenting, and this final person, this "savior", sort of shattered it, and amidst the broken pieces of his world he knows that nothing is what he thought it was.