Pouring my heart out

Hamuko

I feel free when the world doesn't owe it to me.
Joined
Sep 11, 2011
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#1
Hmm.. Lets get the usual facts down first before typing up random stuff. My real name is Karryn and it's not pronounced as Karen. I hate it when people call me that xD Uh I lived in New York all my life but I plan on moving away for a while. 17 years old and getting older everyday. I used to live in a two story house with 5 bedrooms and two big bathrooms. Certain events happened over the course of 5 years and I now live in a two bedroom apartment with my mom, brother and sister. I honestly hate being home but I'm too depressed to go out. I have anger issues and I say a lot of things I don't mean and wish things upon people that wouldn't be counted as normal. I take pride in saying I'm an anime freak since anime is the only thing actually keeping me sane, aside from my boyfriend. Oh yeah my boyfriend. I've been with him for 17 months and I plan on marrying him. He lives 3,000 miles away from me but we plan on seeing each other one day.

I used to be a reckless kid back in sophomore year of high school. I would ditch school and go out to drink and smoke and just get wasted to the point where I can't stand. I've been in fights that has permanently messed up the right side of my nose. These antics have carried onto my whole Junior year and the result of this recklessness is me having to take 8 hours of school everyday and night school Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm semi clean now but old habits are hard to break. I certainly learned my lesson and I plan to be more responsible since I want to graduate when I have to.

Ever since I was little I was never really a social butterfly. I always felt that people are out to get me and that I get judged for every move I make. Now I sometimes think this way but I'm slowly starting to change my bad habits.

The number 1 thing I really regret, like really really regret is not continuing drawing when I was 10 (about the same time as when I started getting into anime). If I would have continued drawing ever since then I would probably be an amazing artist by now. But now I set such high hopes for myself when I draw that it never comes out the way I want it to. Then my anger issues come in and I get really frustrated and scrap whatever drawing I did.

(continued later)
 

Rascal

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Joined
Mar 23, 2011
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#2
*will definitely be reading this one* <3 youve also inspired me on things to talk about in mine