Dream's Collection

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#1
Destiny, of the Endless, is known for his book. But what most don't know is that his brother, Dream, is also a fan of literature.



However, he is much... pickier than his older brother. Dream seeks out only the most whimsical, heartrending, soul searing stories for his collection. If you can write a story that tugs at heartstrings and makes hair stand on edge, perhaps Dream will pluck your story from obscurity, and keep it in his collection.



Dream likes, not those authors obsessed with their stories, but the little people, learning to get by, who nevertheless find the time to turn twenty-six letters into weapons and shields, or sunlight and snow. Those who can, within a fortnight, create works loved by many, or perhaps only a few. Who remind him that, once, his creations were tiny ideas that began to grow.
 

Sanae

Active Member
Staff member
#2
WOTF #1: Love by Hadrel

Entry 2: Hadriel’s Love

The snow was thick on the grass, and as he stood and watched on, she drifted about, staring at the white expanse in wonder, looking up at the flakes of snow falling softly onto her face. Using her hands, covered by mittens, she scooped a handful of snow, throwing it in the air and laughing in delight as the cold flakes touched the bare skin of her face and neck. Watching in the distance, he was amazed by her beauty.



He could hear a relaxing piano melody playing from the diner beside the park. It seemed to echo her movements, weaving about the notes playfully as she waved her arms in the air. As the clouds drifted in the sky, he felt a breeze blow. She felt it too, and recoiled in cold. She turned to him, waving.



"Hey, I'm getting tired!" she called out.



"Let's find a seat, then," he replied.



They found a bench in the middle of the park, covered in snow. He used his hands to sweep the snow away, and she sat down. They both looked around, enjoying the winter scenery. She stretched out her hands and sighed, looking at her breath mist in the cold air.



"Winter is so beautiful," she mused aloud.



"It sure is," he concurred.



"I wish it could last forever," she continued wistfully.



He put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry," he reassured her. "It can last forever."



"How?"



He was stuck trying to find a decent answer, and when she realized this she chuckled.



"You're always like that, answering without thinking first," she remarked.



"I am?"



"Yeah," she replied, and she took his hand on her shoulder and placed it on her cheek. He could feel the roughness of her face through the cotton of his mittens.



"Your hand's so warm..." she said dreamily. "Do you remember the first time we met?"



"How could I forget?"



"Yeah. I remember it like it was yesterday."



"Well, it wasn't too long ago."



"Oh, you flatter me."



She looked up at the white sky, still grasping his hand on her cheek.



"When I saw you, I knew you'd be different," she said out loud.



"Different? How so?"



"Well, I had a... different... feeling about you, like you were special."



"What a cliche."



She giggled. "I was attracted to you then."



"You were? How?" he asked.



"Do I have to make myself any clearer than that?" she questioned in playful exasperation.



"Well, it helps to clarify things."



"Okay, then," she said, turning to face him. Their faces were close, almost touching, and he could see his reflection in her large eyes bordered by crow feet. She held up his wrinkled hands in hers.



"I love you," she said clearly.



"It's been fifty years," he said gladly, feeling a single tear drip down his eye. He ran his hand through her white hair, once a vibrant brown, and she found solace in his touch. She looked at him again, tears streaming down her cheeks.



“You don't need to be so emotional,” he commented with a grin.



“I know...” she said, wiping the tears away. “It's just... I'm so happy we've gone through this together.”



“Me too.”



He held her shoulders, and they shared a tender kiss, two old people sitting on a bench in a park, just like teenagers. He stopped, and saw that her face was vibrant again. He smiled.



“Happy golden anniversary, my dear wife.”
 

Sanae

Active Member
Staff member
#3
WOTF #2: Discussion by Hadriel


In the lore of old, there was once a bright meadow, brimming with flowers. People lived there, and throughout the days they interacted with each other, laughing, arguing, discussing about serious issues. Each of them held a muffin in their hands, a sign of their eternal devotion to their land, the land of Manga Treat.



Manga Treat was full of odd little surprises. Down by the river, there was a large bar, the most patronized in the land, where people gathered to just waste their time away and chat randomly. And in this bar, a most unusual conversation was happening.



"So, what's been happening?" a petite girl asked, starting off the conversation. She wore a frilly green maid uniform, and her pink hair swayed from side to side.



"Nothing much, Amu-chan," the hamster replied, staring up at the girl.



Suddenly, the whole room shook, as a goddess, with flowing white hair and piercingly red eyes, descended upon the crowd.



"Morning folks~

So, what'cha wanna do today for fun?~"



"I'm reading recipes. I want to cook new stuff...." another girl replied unenthusiastically. She had long red hair and a large black ribbon.



"Good morning, Emmie!" a young man greeted the goddess, pushing up his spectacles smartly while he played with his tie. Answering her question, he said, chuckling, "Let's leave that to your imagination."



The red-haired girl spotted a chance, and she immediately interjected, "What Chido really means is that he wants to be your chewtoy for today."



Chido sighed in exasperation while Kyouko giggled to herself.



"A new masochist?" A new voice sounded, as a pink-haired girl entered the bar. She looked disgusted. "I think I'm going to throw up!"



"Why, Madoka, Chido's already a masochist!" Kyouko replied, still chuckling rather sinisterly.



"I didn't say, 'Oh, please torture me!' or something," Chido argued tiredly. "Anyway, I despise that kind of S&M shit."



"Chido loves it, according to Aker," a small teapot sitting on the shelf said, whistling in glee.



"And Aker is the Oracle, yah?" Chido replied sarcastically.



"Chido! I thought you were okay as a person!" Madoka said concernedly. "Looks like I was misled again..."



"Also, the new Noblesse, Claymore, Naruto and Bleach chapters are out. How interesting," Emeralda spoke out loud, absorbed in her own business.



"This is a rather slow day," the hamster remarked from his stool.



"Well, I like to start my day reading about superheroes who go crazy, turn into murderous anti-heroes, and then kill all their frends and co-workers," a muscular man sitting in the corner said. He held up a picture, showing a superhero glowing orange with fire, the words "MINE!" superimposed haphazardly.



"There aren't enough emotions and love in those stories, Crom," Madoka voiced her disapproval.



Meanwhile, some of the others had moved to the other end of the bar and were lamenting about the relative lack of activity.



"What a slow say we have here," Kyouko said, and sighed.



"Well, it is a Thursday," Chido replied.



"O... Okay..." Emeralda replied to the rather unusual comments provided by Crom and Madoka. "I think I'm going to pay a visit to the Grand Library."



With that, she lifted off into the air and floated lightly to the largest landmark in MangaTreat: An enormous library, housing the works of old. Unfortunately, it was still empty. Beside it, a small tavern stood, where designers gathered to discuss about their latest works, and about designing in general.



"Hmm... could someone review this signature I produced?" A young man with blond hair asked. He held up three sheets of paper in his hand, all with the same picture but with slight differences. "Which one is better?"



"Aker," a grown woman advised. "Since the original image was rather dark, shouldn't you have put some lighting around the man in the picture so we could see him clearly?"



"You should try to pick a better stock next time," Another young man wearing a white beanie added. "The purely black one is hard to work with unless you convert it into a render. You did a pretty solid job with it, but I think you should try to re-work the text. The idea you had behind it is good, but it takes up so much space on the opposite side of the tag, it draws a lot away from your focal."



The young blonde-haired man looked down dejectedly. "Don't worry", the other young man reassured. "Just look at some tutorials, or ask Emeralda for help, and you should be fine!"



"Did someone call?" Emeralda said, walking up to the group.



Suddenly, their conversation was interrupted by an uproar from nearby. Not far off, another tavern was in chaos.



"Hadriel, your joke is over. My investigation succeeded and I've been told what I needed to know. The infomration about my suspicion was true," the wolf accused his opponent dangerously. He flashed a small letter addressed to him. Inside was a single line: "Nevertheless, Hadriel is Keima."



Cold sweat ran down Hadriel's forehead. His allies weren't there to protect him, so all he could do was to fight back.



"Oh wow," he remarked cooly. "It's not like anyone can just fake a PM or anything. Where's your concrete proof? Because, honestly, anyone can just fake a letter and throw it out here."



The young man with the white beanie entered the tavern quickly, having been attracted by the noise. He analyzed the situation quickly, and a smug look flashed on his face. "Wouldn't surprise me at all, considering that we have suspected him since Crestham's death," he commented.



"Honestly, Shadowwolf, why are you targetting me out of all people?" Hadriel went on.



"Why?" Shadowwolf replied. "I target you because you are in fact Katsuragi Keima."



"Your arguments are baseless and empty. Stop lying. I know you are, and that's immediate cause for suspicion."



Shadowwolf smirked. His opponent's argument was unravelling so easily it was almost funny.



"I object!" he cried out. "Why are you so defensive? If my argument really is empty, then why don't you just prove me wrong? You feel as if I'm attacking you even though you believe my arguments are meaningless."



"Overruled!" Hadriel shouted back. "Yes, I feel as if you're attacking me because you ARE attacking me. It's baseless, but the negative intention is there."



Shadowwolf growled in frustration. "Look here, Hadriel. I am not going to argue with you anymore. This is taking us nowhere. I have no personal interests in this and I gain nothing by attacking you. I've never considered you an enemy outside of this game, but this IS a game and my investigation leads me to this conclusion. We even gave you the oportunity to keep going, and focused on inactives, and yet you are so defensive now. Why?"



"Of course. What we do in this tavern is completely non-indicative of what we do outside. Beyond this, we're still friends," Hadriel said warmly, but his face became cold again. "Back to business: You gave me the opportunity to keep going? How is voicing your suspicion of me for all to hear giving me an opportunity to keep going? At best, you're keeping my name in every player's subconscious. At worst, everyone is trying to kill me every day. How is that giving any opportunity for me to contribute constructively to the conversation?



I am not talking about your personal interests in accusing me of being an assassin. I'm talking about your need, as an assassin yourself, to push the blame on someone else before it shifts to you, and that is what I'm trying to ascertain right now."



A cuckoo clock on the wall sounded loudly, and Hadriel glanced at it. It was time he took his leave. "Unfortunately, it is late, and I must make a move," he explained. "Therefore, I humbly request that we pause this conversation until I return. Thank you."



With that, he grabbed his cloak and left the tavern quickly, but not before leaving behind an atrocity of a monster. It morphed every split second, first resembling a cat, then a disembodied head, and so on. The wolf and the young man looked at it curiously.



"Where do you think it came from, Viva?" Shadowwolf asked.



"I have no idea. Probably one of the gimmicks Emmie's been pulling off."



The tavern was silent as the two sat there, contemplating.



"What shall we do now?" VivaLaDementia asked.



"I don't know, actually."



"Hmm... I think I'll pay the a visit to the bar by the river."



With that, VivaLaDementia walked out of the game tavern. He glanced at the sun shining down on the bright field, fixed in its midday position, and he began walking through the meadow. The flowers waved about in the wind, and as he left the tavern further and further behind, his spirits began to lift. He saw the large bar in the distance, brimming with activity, and he grinned. He ran down the hill to the door, threw it open, and saw the familiar friendly faces. He walked in slowly, surveying the area.



"So, what's been happening?" he asked.
 

Sanae

Active Member
Staff member
#4
WOTF #3: Life, Love, Lie by Archerguy


Lost inside the memories

Growling and whining

Trade everything and frowning

As always like usual days



The tighter I grab it

The easier it slipped through my palm

Unaware about it

I let the half of my heart gone



Same as always

Hyperventilating and suffocating

Losing the most precious treasure

Only to grabbed the air as a prisoner

I breathe faster

Symphony of the miseries was heard

I clutch onto the melodies

Only to hear another lie spoken



I want to forget it

Her smile that endow my mind

My heart that gone wild when she’s around

The song of the life and love that stuck in my head



It’s not a decision

Nor it was a fate

For a long time I waited

For the circle to spin



Realizing it will never move

I drowned myself in the hell of liar

Care only for the life

Squeezing my dreams all the night



In this decision I was born

The new being yet an old one

Proudly walked at the scene of madness

And disappeared as if must



Watched for me

In this dark path

Without any wind remains

Or another light that existed
 

Sanae

Active Member
Staff member
#5
WOTF #4: The Real of Dreams by HappyNisa

“He was said to be the Soldier of Freedom forever wandering in the Realms of Dreams. He would have no face as either Captivity and Freedom have no face. He could weaken the strong and turn evil in to good. He was Balance. He could turn light into the darkness and darkness into light, but ever since the humanity came down to this world and darkened everything around, he was nothing more than a whispered dream, never to be seen or heard while he wandered in the silent world of Dreams, as the world got captivated by its own power. With his last strength he created his Dream of Light in the shape of a indestructible globe. Might you ever find this globe and get to face this man without a face, fear him not, but treasure him as your friend. He might make it possible for you to see, your own Dream of Reality.”



Casidhe stared at the globe of light in her hands excited as she heard the ancient text coming from the globe the moment she touched it. This was it, this was the Globe of the Ancients. The only True Light left in the world and the only way for her to save her little brother from the dark Aysiki, creatures made out of the Darkness of the Heart of Blaecleah, the last King that ever ruled. The Aysiki had made her little brother sick, with every breath a bit of Darkness would sip in his heart, making him food for the Aysiki.



Casidhe’s eyes started to hurt from looking at the light shimmering in her hands. Carefully she placed the Globe in her bag. She could still see the light trough the bag.



“Gesthe me nu luacte, muadrek!”



She jumped three meters up in the air, well at the very least it felt like three meters. She had no time left the Aysiki had spotted her and they did not like her taking the Globe of the Ancients out of the Box of Darkness. And they probably didn’t like it that she ‘accidently’ destroyed their precious box that could shield away the bright light of the Globe either.

She hurried to the window to jump out of it into the Black River, but the Aysiki had already captured her and made her swallow in their darkness. In a last struggle to win she took the Globe out of her back and held in to her chest pleading the Soldier Of Freedom to save her brother of the very creatures that were choking her with their evil powers. The light of the Globe faded and the world went Dark for real.



“Are you okay, Casidhe?”



It was the voice of her little brother. Her head was on the edge of exploding so she just groaned a bit.



“Open your eyes carefully, okay?”



She did as he told her. Something was out of place, her eyes started to throb and she closed them again. Her headache became even worse.



“What happened?”



“You fell asleep. Well, you are still sleeping.”



“What happened to the colours? Why do they hurt my eyes? Are you okay with all that brightness, Dalaigh?”



A silence fell as Casidhe opened her eyes again searching for her little brother, only seeing a man pulsating with light. With the voice of her brother he told her he wasn’t her brother. Casidhe had to catch her breath and keep in the scream as the faceless man turned to her.

“My name is Fiach, please, do not fear me. I mean no harm.”



She only noticed now that the voice she heard came from her own head and not from the faceless man before her. She slowly crept out of bed and studied the glowing man. It was fascinating how he actually shined. Then it suddenly became clear for her.



“Are… Are you the Soldier of Freedom?”



“I am not familiar with that name. But I’ll help you find him if you need to find him.”



He wasn’t familiar with that name? Who didn’t know about the Soldier of Freedom, the last hope for mankind to gain back their Freedom from the Aysiki. Unless of course, he was the Soldier of Freedom. It would make sense he never knew of that title because he had already disappeared before the Ancients called him the Soldier of Freedom. But that soldier was supposed to be trapped in the Realms of Dreams.



“Fiach? Where are we?”



“In the Realms of Dreams. I think it’s your dream as I’m able to interact with you. You can see my prison, right? And you can hear me talk to you…”



“Your prison? What is your prison? Is this dream… my dream… Is my dream your prison?”



Fiach shook his head. “No, it’s this body that keeps me trapped in this world. You can see it sit right there, right?”



Casidhe nodded slowly as she stood up and inspected her house. Everything was so colourful, so bright, so beautiful. She moved outside and she saw something that was the most incredible thing she had ever seen. The sun. Her neighbors greeted her with a smile and in the garden was her little brother playing with the neighbor’s child. He was healthy and laughing away. When he saw her he stood up and ran towards her.



“Cassy, Cassy. Look, we found a bird’s nest!”



Dalaigh brought her to the tree and pointed to the nest. Casidhe cried. Her eyes hurt off all the beautiful things and the bright light but she couldn’t close them. She wanted to see everything of this perfect world. The dead tree in the garden was full of leaves, the grass on the ground was green and some young flowers held up their heads to her and spread sweet aroma’s. She kneeled down next to her brother and neighbor and enjoyed the warmth of the incredible sun.

When she felt a hand on her shoulder she was afraid it would be an Aysiki forcing her back to Reality, but it was Fiach.



“Do you like this Dream?”



It was weird for her to hear her brothers voice in her head when her brother was right in front of her but she nodded and laughed for the first time in her life. She stopped the moment she heard the sound of her laugh.



“Uhm, sorry. I’m not sure what I just did.”



“Why are you letting Reality get to you when your Dream makes you so much happier?”



“What are you saying? This is a Dream, it’s a mere Fantasy. It doesn’t exist, only in my head!”



The man without a face remained silent pointing the emptiness of his face at Casidhe. Then he shook his head. “Are you trying to tell me that I do not exist? That I am a mere Fantasy?”



“I am! There is no way you can’t have a face!”



The world changed immediately, the sun blacked out and her little brother disappeared at the same time as the trees and the grass and all that existed. She stood in complete darkness. She felt the cold and could hear the whispers. The Aysiki had arrived. She was back in Reality where the Aysiki ruled, where she was about to die.



“Moekate, sket strumpe ai nec trismut."



The chills went down her spine as she could see the Aysiki right in front of her face. He was telling her that she had to give the Globe back or die as their food right now. But she would never give away the only item in the world that could save her brother. The Globe had lost its light earlier but she could still feel its warmth. It might still work. She just had to get it to Dalaigh. She had to save him. Even if it seemed impossible, even if the Aysiki took her… if he was save then nothing else matters.



“Is this really the Reality you want?”



The Aysiki shrank and backed away from the light the man without a face emitted.



“What are you talking about? This IS reality. There is nothing I can do about that.” She was growing tired of this man without a face.



“If this was reality then how can I be here? I was a mere Fantasy remember?”



Casidhe was dumbfounded. Fiach had a point there. He was the Soldier of Freedom for sure. But he was locked up in the Realms of Dreams. There was no way he could be here. There was no way a Man without a face could exist in Reality.



“How can a man without a face exist?!”



“I have a face, dear Casidhe. You just can’t remember it.”



“What are you talking about?! I never ever saw your face before. Nobody did! You’re a LEGEND, you hear? The man without a face, The Soldier of Freedom? The man that could save this world from those awful Aysiki creatures? That’s YOU. And you’re really not doing great job. Now, just help me save my little brother would you? Those creatures fear you, so I might be able to reach my little brother and save him with this globe of yours.”



Fiach nodded and guided her to her house where her little brother was fast asleep in his own bed, sick. He was already starting to fade into the darkness. She kneeled down and placed the globe in his hands. He groaned at its warmth.



“Dalaigh, come on. Take it. It will make you feel better. It will heal you. Dalaigh!!”



He dissapeared, but she couldn’t hear the laughs of the Aysiki nor could she feel the warm hand of Fiach. She could only stare at the spot where used to be her brother and now was an Aysiki. It grinned victoriously at her.



“Casidhe, you should wake up. Look at me.”



She slowly turned around with tears in her eyes. Her sole purpose of living got consumed by the darkness and turned in to a Aysiki, the very creature she hated. She would never ever see him again, she would never be able to touch him again. She lost him. Her precious little brother, her only light. Nothing mattered anymore if he was gone.



Fiach touched her face. “Remember my face… Casidhe!”



His light dimmed and slowly but surely they were standing in complete darkness again. Fiach had disappeared together with Dalaigh, she was all alone now as the cold fingers of the Aysiki grabbed her and took her with her for the eternity of darkness. The cold, brute world of Darkness where deaths were the standard. Murders committed without being seen, without hearing the victims. A world of complete nothingness.



“Remember my face…” It echoed through her head as she saw her life passing by.







At her left side she felt her husband’s hand, at her right the small hand of her son. They were quietly talking to one another. Her head was blank. She couldn’t remember anything but the weird nightmare she just had. A nightmare about darkness and no freedom.

Someone entered the room, someone she didn’t know.



“Mister Enos?” Casidhe felt her husband move. “Your wife has been in a severe condition after the car accident, but she seems stable now. Her brains seems to be damaged quite badly and there is a high possibility that she might not remember anything. I am also sorry to tell you that there is a chance she will not awaken from her coma.”



Her son started to sob. The doctor shouldn’t have bluntly told that while he was in the room. He might be 5 years old but he sure was a very clever boy.



“Dalaigh…” Her voice was a mere whisper, but the room went silent instantaneously.



“Mommy?”



With utmost effort she opened her eyes and smiled to her son. Her husband hurried to her side. “Casidhe…”



“Fiach.” She wanted to touch him, but she couldn’t move.



“Welcome back, my love.”
 

Sanae

Active Member
Staff member
#6
WOTF #5: An Empty Street by Hadriel

What's that over there? There, at the corner of your eye?
My eyes darted to the spot, watching the world whip by.

There was nothing there.

Behind you!
I spun around and stared down the street.

There was nothing there.

A cool breeze blew, evaporating the cold sweat trickling down my forehead. My hands were cold, and as they grapsed at each other, trying to find companionship, I felt uneasy. Uneasy, as if someone, something, was watching me. In front, a lone street lamp projected cold light onto the cobblestone ground, projecting shadows on the graffiti-filled walls that seemed to have a life of their own, changing shapes and sizes as the wind blew. I quickly walked under the lamp, feeling the light shine down on me. Despite it, I felt cold. The hair on my arms stood on end, and adrenaline began to course through my body. I looked down at my shadow on the cobblestone pavement. As the wind blew and my clothes waved about, my shadow kept changing, seemingly morphing into alien shapes.

Looking up, I saw the brick wall across the road, bathed in the eerie light of the street lamp. I could see some of the graffiti in the dim light, their awkward shapes alien to my eyes. There were holes in the wall. They seemed to be watching me, mysterious eyes shrouded in darkness. Suddenly, a shadow passed by the wall and I jumped. It was a black cat, pacing down the street, stopping to stretch its legs. It looked at me and yawned. I decided to continue walking.

As I left the light of the street lamp, I passed by the openings of alleys. Somehow, I thought I could see dark figures standing at the ends of the alleys, staring right at me, or even worse, preparing to attack. Suddenly, I heard a crow call out. I was frozen in my tracks. A wave of nervous heat ran through my body, and I felt another bead of sweat flow down my temple. I couldn't move at all. I was rooted to the spot, unable to escape the impending danger. I gulped in anxiety. I tried lifting a leg. It wouldn't move. I was pinned down by a silent predator. I felt it behind me, reaching out with claws, trying to get a hold of me. My eyes looked about haphazardly. Every single thing seemed like it would come to life and attack me. The car parked beside me, the bricks on the walls, the gravel on the ground, the nondescript drain cover. It was maddening. Outside, I was frozen. Inside, I was hysterical, screaming for my life, wanting to escape from the presence behind me.

I looked down at my leg. Move! I screamed in my head. My foot shifted. It felt dead and frozen, but at last, it began to move. Slowly, but surely, my foot raised itself above the ground, trembling. It ached inexplicably, but I forced it to move forward. Fear and paranoia had me rooted to the spot, but my resolve had overcome the paralysis. I moved one foot forward, then the next. Step by step I was escaping from the clutches of the presence behind me. My laboured steps turned into pacing, then brisk walking, and then I was running for my life, running away from the presence I felt behind me, staring right into my soul.

At last, I reached the junction, well lit my street lamps. The light from them was warm now. Stopping to catch my breath, I turned back to look down the street.

There was nothing there.
 

Sanae

Active Member
Staff member
#7
WOTF #6: Reality by Shadowolf

On an angry and sick world,
Nothing is what it seems,
Nobody is what they say to be,
Nothing is meant to be believed

On a rotten and putrid world,
Hate is the only language,
Insults are their everyday meal,
Harassment is just their dessert

On a disturbing and blasphemer world,
Life is only a mask worn over the body,
The true self is always a demon,
People are as evil as possible,
There’s no escape from it

On an evil and hate-breeding world,
Injuries are meant to turn into scars,
Cuts are meant to become wounds,
And a broken heart is not something new

On this mad and strange world,
There’s a savior yet to be found,
A hero inside everybody,
And emphatic being to arise,
But it all depends on the people
We are talking to; It all depends
On the will we have for change
This is just…the cruel reality
 

Sanae

Active Member
Staff member
#8
WOTF #7: Dear Mother by HappyNisa

I’m sorry for the horrible sight you just encountered and the blood on this letter. I can imagine that it might haunt your mind for the rest of your life. See it as a revenge for all those years we spend together. Years that we can actually recall in just a few words, right? When I’d actually see you, then the only thing you’d say to me is: “Just get rid of whatever prevents you from achieving your goal and you’ll grow up to be happy.” You’ve been a terrible mother, but you were right about that. I’ll explain to you why.

“Hey, I heard Lillian and Matt finally got together!”

That one sentence of a classmate meant the end for me. We were always together. Matt was my best friend and Lillian, well, Lillian’s mom and you were best friends, so what can I say about that. Whenever you had to work I got dumped at her place. We quickly grew up to be friends, you were quite happy with that even though you wanted more out of our relationship.

Matt and Lillian both had these very dark brown eyes that seemed to shine in the dark. It wasn’t that weird that people always matched up Lillian and Matt, they looked really great together, but I always felt a sting of jealousy whenever I heard people say that they should be a couple. You always liked to stir up that fire of envy in me, didn’t you? Too bad you never understood the real reason of my jealousy, you might have ended up being the support I really needed. No, that’s a silly idea, what am I writing? You could barely lay your eyes upon me without throwing up, without knowing the real reason. I can’t even imagine what you’d have done to me if you did know. Maybe the blood you can see in my room would also have been on your hands then? We’ll never know.

Never hit the messenger, right? Classic. It was the first mistake I made, besides of course trusting you. My classmate couldn’t know any better, but I beat him to pulp nonetheless for giving me the bad news of Lillian and Matt being an item. Just to get that happy grin of his face, I rebuilt his face with my fists. Something you would approve of, right?

I’d always been a great actor and nobody knew the truth about me. Nobody even knew the real me. No, mom, not even you knew me though that can’t be much of a surprise anymore now, can it? As you can feel my blood ruining your pretty shoes as you read this.

Blind creatures we humans can be. We only see what we want to see. So, what others saw in me was this innocent, obedient and kind child. Hitting someone really didn’t fit that picture. I left the whole class in shock as I ran out of the classroom.

Outside, I saw them. I sneaked up to them, quietly, like a lioness would sneak up to her prey, just to get a better view of what they we’re doing. That was the second mistake I made. I shouldn’t have done that, I knew what I’d end up seeing anyway and I surely knew I wouldn’t like the sight.

I’m not sure how I felt as I watched; how the lips I wanted to kiss so badly were kissed by someone else, how I was invisible to the dark brown shimmering eyes that now stared at someone else, how those hands I wanted to hold were touching the skin of someone else, and most of all, how that someone else, that lucky person, was no one less than my friend.

I got the urges to puke, to scream, to cry, to run, but all I could do was standing there and feeling my jealousy burn my soul. With every new heartbeat my body ached a bit more until finally… I heard the one I loved say: “I love you” to someone else.

I stood on that very same spot I spied on my friends when the principal found me. She had already called you about the incident of me hitting my classmate. You were sitting in a chair in her office, looking at me with the hate in your eyes that always fired in your eyes whenever I reminded you of dad. When you heard about what happened with Lillian and Matt, your eyes became calm and even started to shine again. However, as you walked out of the door you whispered to me: “Wrong person to beat to pulp. He’s not the guy standing in your way, is he? We should do something about that Matt. How dare he lay his hands on my friend’s daughter.” I started crying, your word choice was wrong. I indeed never wanted him to lay his hands on Lillian, but the fact that he did, made me feel so desperate and hopelessly useless.

I couldn’t tell you. Even now I’m having problems writing it down. You see, mother, I’m ashamed of it myself. I’m not right, I really am a failure. Another thing you were right about, huh?

Crying was something you did not want to see a anyone doing, surely not if it was without reason and if it was me. You beat me to pulp that night, remember? You stopped when you noticed I was bleeding and then you hugged me like a little baby. You promised me you’d help me take out Matt, you promised me to help me win over Lillian’s heart. You really thought I’d be happy to hear that. Little did you know.

Vacation finally started and you made Matt stay over at our house. I think I can describe those days as the best days of my life, honestly. You were there, he was there and Lillian was nowhere to be found. Matt kindly never mentioned Lillian and his relationship with her. It was just me and him and if I forget about the nights in which you gave me hints and tips as in how to get rid of Matt, I can actually say that they we’re the best days of my life. Just my best friend around me and a mother that seemed to care about me.

Of course there was an end to it, you had gotten inpatient and you brought over Lillian too, you really thought that bringing her here would make me feel more pressure, more need to quickly get rid of Lillian. You were once again right, it really did put me under pressure, because as kind as Matt is, he really did love Lillian and Lillian really did love him. It was a perfect love if only I wasn’t there.

It was that thought that kept spinning around in my head, if only I wasn’t here. You know, mother, the whole problem of your plan of getting rid of my rival had one big problem. Even if my rival was gone, nature would still be against me, you see?

I love Matt. Even at this moment that I’m writing this my heart is not beating to finish this letter to you but to see him one last time. I think he knew it, but he never mentioned it. He never rejected me, but also never accepted me. It might have been weird but I feel like I even love him more for that very reason.

I think if I had told you this all honestly from the start to you, mother. You’d have disowned me. I know how you always went on about how filthy people like me were and how people should kill people like me off. Yeah, you can feel at ease about that, at least you won’t have to dirty your hands killing me now.

Anyway, I have to hurry up because I’m starting to get really dizzy and sleepy, I think that might be because of the lack of blood in my body? I only cut one of my wrists, but it’s still going faster than I expected.

Back to what I was telling you, that one night you prepared the perfect kill for me, a little bit of poison in the form of too much nutmeg in dinner and some great drug in it to finish it, was the night I decided to not go through with it. I thought about killing Matt and about killing Lillian, but both felt wrong. They we’re both my friends. Besides that, killing off Lillian or Matt wouldn’t change any feelings. So I’ll tell you why your plan went wrong, I simply changed bottles. And I threw away the plate of food with too much nutmeg and replaced it with non-poisoned food.

Mom, I know I’ve been going on about how much I hate you ,but for real, I only hate myself. You tried your best in your own weird and illegal way. You never wanted to get me, but you still took care of me in the best way you could. I love you for that mom… I really do.

I don’t want to be a bother to anyone any longer, I don’t want to feel unloved by the people I love.

If anyone had to go to make this place a better place, it had to be me.


With love, pain and blood sipping out of me,
Your son,
Stan.
 
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